Trooper Chat #11: The Apette Chronicles
by Lady Electra
Summary: The last of the Apette/ Holiday Quartet. It's New Years... read to see what happens *note* This is gonna be the last Trooper Chat for a while


Fade in  
  
(The most of the cast is the main part of the set getting down all the junk from the pervious holiday show. Elizabeth walks in and screams)  
  
Bob (nearly falling off the latter he's on): What's wrong? What happened?  
  
Elizabeth: What the heck are you guys doing!?  
  
Kim: We're just getting all this stuff down.  
  
Elizabeth: But don't you know it's bad luck to take down your holiday stuff before the first of the year?  
  
Kelly: It is?  
  
Dan: Elizabeth, it's New Years Eve (throws box of lights and tinsel in the broom closet). I think it's close enough.  
  
Rachel: Yeah, don't spazz out.  
  
Elizabeth: Spazz? Whose spazzing? I'm just trying to make sure we don't get canceled.  
  
Max (walking into the set holding a brown box): Take it down, take it all down! Maybe if this show gets the ax I'll be able to get out of here.  
  
Nurse Logan: Yeah right. Whatcha got there anyway?  
  
Max (holds up box and shakes it a few times): I don't know, but since it's for the Psycho Chick it can't be anything good.  
  
Laurie: Yes (catches it as Max tosses it to her)! Finally it came, took them long enough!  
  
Dan: Well what is it?  
  
Laurie: You'll see at the end of the show, but I'll give you this much we'll be seeing the last of Jason's fairy dust tonight.  
  
(Jason comes bouncing out of left stage throwing the 'fairy dust'. Everyone just try's to stay calm until he leaves)  
  
Nurse Logan (to Bob): I'll be dollars to tranqs, that it's some type of explosive material.  
  
Bob: Wouldn't surprise me.  
  
Dan (looks at watch): C'mon guys we've got to get ready for the show.  
  
(Everyone picks up a box and walks off the set)  
  
Fade out  
Fade in  
  
(The lights come on and start doing the strobe. We see Elisabeth and Dan sitting in their respected places. The lights stop and go back to normal)  
  
Dan: Hello and welcome to Trooper Chat, I'm you host Dan Wilson   
  
(Close up on host's face)  
  
Elisabeth (smiling): And I'm your co. host Elisabeth Clark.  
  
(Close up on co.host's face)  
  
Dan: We've got a great night planed you folks. It's New Years Eve and we plan on ringing it in with a bang.  
  
Laurie (off stage): You got that right!  
  
Dan: Bob, will you make sure the contractor's number is on speed dial?  
  
Bob (off stage): I'm way ahead of ya, I've got the contractor's and the lawyer's numbers on speed dial.  
  
Elizabeth: Well that's one thing taken care of, so why don't we take care with the rest of the show.  
  
Dan: Great idea. Everyone please welcome Mandy Da Kawii.  
  
(Mandy walks out onto the stage waving both hands at the camera, she doesn't look where she's going and trips on the carpet but turns around and lands on the couch sitting down)  
  
Elizabeth: Welcome to the show Mandy.  
  
Mandy: Thanks for having me.  
  
Dan: Well if it's okay with you, we're gonna get the show started.   
  
Mandy: Fine by me.  
  
Elizabeth: Okay, first question. What first got you into Roughnecks: Starship Trooper Chronicles?  
  
Mandy: That would have to be Higgins, I saw him and I was instantly hooked.  
  
Max (off stage): Paperboy?! What can you see in that little 98lbs weakling?  
  
Mandy: Oh Shut up!  
  
(She takes out her boomerang and throws it off stage most likely in Max's direction. As it comes back it hits Dan in the head)  
  
Dan: Ouch!  
  
Mandy (sheepish smile): Sorry 'bout that Dan.  
  
Dan (rubbing head): That's okay, no harm done...I think (Nurse Logan walks onto the stage and hands him 2 aspirin  
  
Elizabeth: Well I guess that answers the question about what your weapon of choice is.  
  
Mandy (holds up boomerang): Yep, this is what I use when I go out and chase Higgins.  
  
Dan: So Mandy, what group are you from?  
  
Mandy: I'm from the Apettes.  
  
Dan: AHHHHHHH (starts banging his head against the desk)! Is *bang* there *bang* no *bang* getting *bang* away *bang* from *bang* you *bang* people *bang*!?  
  
Elizabeth: Why don't we go to the skit, before Dan gives himself a concussion.  
  
Mandy: Goodie!  
  
Fade out  
Fade in  
  
(Kim, Mandy, Bob, and Dan are sitting down at a table in a room)  
  
Mandy: What's this skit about, I thought you guys were done with the class room skits.  
  
Bob: Same here (pulls out script). Well isn't this odd.  
  
Kim: What is it?  
  
Bob: Says here that we're in journalism class, and we're getting ready to welcome in a new student.  
  
Dan: Who's the new student?  
  
(Just then someone pushes Higgins onto the stage. He's dressed in a silk metallic blue shirt and blue jeans)  
  
Mandy (hopeful): Please tell me he's the new student.  
  
Bob: What do you think?  
  
Kelly (off stage): I hope you don't mind that we didn't wrap him, we ran out of paper and boxes so we had to improvise.  
  
Mandy (jumping over and table and hugging Higgins): That's okay.  
  
Dan: So what are we supposed to write about in this skit?  
  
Bob: I don't know, all it says is that we're in a journalism class.  
  
Mandy (pulls out paper and pen): I know what I'm gonna write about (starts scribbling stuff down).  
  
Kim: Well if the script says we're supposed to welcome the new student lets welcome him.  
  
Higgins: Oh great, now what are you going to do?  
  
(Dan and Bob go over and lift Higgins onto their shoulders and start to sing a tad bit out of tune)  
  
Dan/Bob: For he's a great reporter, for he's a great reporter, for he's a great reporter, which nobody can refute...ect.  
  
Mandy (holds up paper): I'm done!  
  
Kim: And so are we.  
  
Fade out  
Fade in  
  
(Everyone's where they should be as the lights come back up)  
  
Dan: Welcome back to Trooper Chat, I'm your host Dan Wilson.  
  
Elizabeth: I'm your co-host Elizabeth Clark. If you're just joining us tonight's guest is Mandy Da Kawii.  
  
Dan: Mandy, if it's cool with you we're gonna start the show again.  
  
Mandy (hugging Higgins even harder): It's fine with me.  
  
Higgins (distressed): Could you please let go, last time I check my rib cage still housed important internal organs.  
  
Mandy: Sorry (loosens her grip).  
  
Elizabeth: So Mandy it would look like Higgins is your fave Roughneck, is that true?  
  
Mandy (hugging Higgins a little harder): You bet!  
  
Dan: So now that you've got him, what do you plan on doing with him?  
  
Mandy (still hugging Higgins): You know I never gave it much thought because I haven't been able to catch him until now, so I really can't say.  
  
Dan: Oh. Hey, has anyone seen Laurie, Max, or Jason?  
  
Elizabeth: You know now that you mention it I haven't seen them.  
  
Kelly: I saw Max and Laurie heading up to the roof a while back.  
  
Dan: You did? Well why don't we turn the camera on up there and see what they're doing.  
  
(There's a moment of static, we see Laurie putting something that looks like clay on a pile of sandbags).  
  
Laurie: Hahaha, and they said I was crazy for orderin' this stuff.  
  
Max: Are you almost done? I don't want to be here when this goes off.  
  
Laurie: I'm almost done now (puts a last wire in the clay stuff and throws a sandbag on top). There, I'm all done.  
  
(There's static again and we see everybody but Laurie and Max sitting on and around the couch)  
  
Dan (looking at left): What the heck were you two doing, and where's Jason  
  
Laurie: Well I did tell you I was going to ring in the new year with a bang so I just placed C-4 on the roof.  
  
Everyone: YOU DID WHAT?!  
  
Max: And as for Fairy Boy he's been taken care of  
  
Laurie: T-minus five, four, three, two...(presses a button on her left wrist band)  
  
Everybody: One. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!  
  
(An explosion is heard, we see what looks like stars falling from outside)  
  
Mandy: Cool, how'd you do that.  
  
Laurie: Those sandbags were full of Jason's so-called fairy dust.  
  
Jason (voice coming from broom closet): NO!!!   
  
Mandy: I hope you all have a happy New Year (hugs Higgins a little bit more). I know I am.  
  
Fade out  



End file.
